Why are we as women trying so hard? It just seems like we love using phrases like #unstoppable #shepersisted #breakingtheglassceiling to try and make a statement of sorts.
I am sorry, but, I fail to understand who exactly is it that is stopping us? Most often than not, I find that we limit ourselves by not allowing ourselves to reach our true potential by allowing our spouses, children, parents and others to take precedence over our own wants/wishes/ambitions. Other times, we limit our daughters, our daughters in law, our sisters, friends and colleagues through direct/indirect means.
Why don't we realize that doing what WE WANT is the start to being happy and being happy is the key to feeling secure about ourselves, allowing others around us to flourish and create an environment that encourages growth.
Maybe it is easier for me to write this, as life has come a full circle of sorts for me.
Working as an auditor in a high stress, service industry focused job for 9 years and then choosing to let it go to support my spouse in his endeavors to start a new business in India was not easy. Trust me. Going from a position of working with extraordinary people to managing our social engagements was really an odd low for me. I actually had someone give me the highest compliment from her perspective after attending a dinner party at our place by calling me "the perfect housewife".
I did it - under a fair amount of protest. But, I also knew that there was an end point in sight.
Then, when it came time for me to start reconsidering what my future holds, DH agreed to move back to Minneapolis. We worked towards transitioning the children into a new school and moved into our new home. I started seeking job opportunities and found an incredible one thanks to some amazing ex-colleagues and the goodwill I had built over my time in the US.
Today I can say it all happened easily, but, as we all know that is rarely true. It was not easy to move ourselves across continents twice in 6 years. It was not easy to give up on friends who supported us throughout our time in India. It was gut wrenching to have to call our families to tell them about our decision to move back. On our last day, friends came to our very empty apartment and refused to leave - it was wine bottles being opened and glasses being borrowed till we finally had to give up our keys. To see my helpers (and their families) stand next to our cab at midnight as we loaded our luggage so they could hug our boys for one last time made me break down and almost reverse my decision. The memory of our dearest friends at the airport as we made our way inside is one that gives me goosebumps even as I type.
No, it was not easy to come back to a cooler Minnesota, an airport where no one was there to greet us, a hotel room that seemed so impersonal that we each wanted to get into our own personal shell and rethink our decision. Adding drama to the situation was an urgent need to find a home, finalize the kids schooling and coordinate DH's travels back to India for work. Friends reached out, but, it was not the same. It is very hard to explain the ease of relations that we had left behind and the stress of formalities we felt on visiting those who were here.
A simple example of our state of mind would be that when we went for dinner to a dear friend's place, who had made a ton of effort and cooked Indian food for us, we noticed some balloons around. I asked her if I had missed a celebration recently. She hesitatingly told us that it was a small welcome decoration she did for us. We were in a zone where our expectations were so low that her statement brought tears to my eyes. Thank you Vanessa.
No it was not easy when I started work and felt a general mistrust in my own abilities. Neither was it easy to say bye to my boys early in the morning and know that I won't be home when they come back from school. That instead of me, their favorite snack will be given to them by our babysitter. The evenings when we have classes to rush to, are particularly trying. It is not easy being a mom at any given time and adding a full time job to the mix makes it a lot harder. My options were to sink or swim. I chose the latter.
If I as a person would not have chosen to move forward with confidence in my abilities and faith in my decision, the story I would have been writing today would have been very different. At the same time, this re-transition has proven to me that it truly "takes a village". My friends and neighbors have made themselves available for any possible emergencies - and I have had to take them up on their offer already.
It is so easy to make others responsible for the limitations that we find ourselves surrounded by. But, if we take a quick look around us, it is easy to find that one person who believes in us, the one crack in the wall that surrounds us that can bring the wall down. And sometimes, we simply need to look inwards. That is all it takes.
It is never easy, but, it is so much better to try and seek to succeed than not try at all. Don't you think? And no, I never felt the need to use any of the above hashtags. But, then again, maybe I was just "lucky".
Luck is how I created this recipe as well :).
It is my version of the panzanella - made with zucchini noodles, beetroots, avocadoes, red onions, crusty bread and so much more goodness.
Zucchini Noodle Panzanella
3 medium zucchini made into noodles
3/4 cup chopped, boiled, beetroot
1 medium sized avocado chopped
1/2 cup chopped tomatoes
3 tbsp. basil leaves
1 tbsp. parsley leaves chopped (optional)
1/2 cup feta cheese crumbled
1/2 baguette
4 tbsp. garlic herb butter
2 tbsp. parmesan cheese
Dressing:
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp sugar
2 cloves garlic minced
Salt and pepper to taste
1/4 tsp dried oregano
Heat the oven to broil mode. Spread the butter and parmesan mix on top of sliced baguettes. Broil for 2 mins till golden brown. Bring it outside the oven, turn the pieces around and spread the remaining butter mix on top. Broil again for 1 or so minute till golden brown. Set aside after cutting into cubes.
Spread the noodles, beetroot, avocados, tomaties and onions in a large platter.
Nothing is easy in life - I just wish more of us started working towards our wants and supporting others in their endeavors versus posting images using the hashtag that is trending currently.
